Light Even in Darkness [Flashback; Germany]
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2015 22:06:10 GMT -5
He peered to his immediate left; only after he’d determined that way to be clear did he look the opposite direction. His green eyes did not lose their caution and fear, though. One was smart to always be cautious and afraid while traversing the halls of Russia’s home. Especially in the places you weren’t supposed to be and Toris knew he wasn’t allowed here. And where was here? The place Russia kept his prisoners. The place he’d kept Germany.
It’d never been verbally forbidden to come here, but it was one of those actions you knew was prohibited, but Lithuania wasn’t Russia or Belarus. The man may have said awful things about Russia—many did—and he was without a doubt driving the other nation insane because he either had no knowledge of the whereabouts of Poland or he was refusing to tell Ivan. Lithuania suspected the latter and unlike Ivan or Natalya he respected the German. He admired him. He was so stoic and able to withstand not just Russia’s brand of torture, but Natalya’s. Still he’d not spoken. He’d been offered nothing to eat either and that was one of the reasons Lithuania was creeping along the halls. It was true he was a nation of nervous disposition, but he was also light on his feet. Even with a bag over his shoulders holding various containers of sustenance and his arms laden with first-aid equipment just in case his footfalls were undiscernible in the silence. That only made him more cautious, however. No one heard him coming, but he also didn’t hear anyone either. It kept him on edge, and not the sort of edge he liked. He didn’t like most edges actually.
God, he really shouldn’t be here. It wasn’t too late to turn back logically, but he knew he couldn’t.
He took a steeling breath. He had to do this even if Russia found out. He could take the punishment, claim he deserved it. Lithuania was a nation that cared too much, though. He cared about all those around him, he cared for his enemies. He could be an immovable force on the battleground. He shut off his emotions there, but the moment the blood and dusted settled there he was, good ole brotherly Lithuania. Lithuania who smiled so easily, who was in so much pain because of his people and this war. He hated this war. He hated death. He hated himself so much. If only he’d been stronger against Russia. And yet he always wanted to hold Russia and comfort him. He understood the nation that could be so cruel and yet he hated his coldness all the same. There was already enough cruelness in this world and even he, himself could be cruel. And yet, still Toris had hope. So much hope that it made him ache. He couldn’t let it go. Could nations perish from being laid low so often by the cruel truths of the world? Laid low by hope that teased them and their peoples alike?
His heart and curiosity pressed him on. He still couldn’t find solace as the cell he wanted came closer and closer. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. His form finally shook as he locked the door behind him and he went to set all his supplies on the table within. Toris had given attention only to his bags and had not said a word.
What could he say? That he wasn’t here to continue the torture? He folded his hands and once more looked over his supplies before pushing a strand of his brown hair behind his ears and turning finally to face the Western European nation.
“H-hello, Mr. G-Germany,” he said and then bit his lip. “I…I didn’t think you’d been given any food and so I thought I-I could bring you some. I made-made extra tonight so I could bring you some,” he gave a smile. “And I didn’t know if Mr. Russia or Belarus had hurt you and so…I brought some bandages and things too. I wasn’t sure what I’d be walking into.” When he stopped speaking he took in Germany and then sighed. “I’m sorry you’re here.”
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Post by Germany - Ludwig Wilhelm on Aug 11, 2015 22:55:28 GMT -5
In spite of his resilience against everything that Russia and his sister could inflict him with, Germany isn't feeling very well at all. Just torture is ineffective doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, and just because he didn't ultimately die doesn't mean that he can't suffer. He's capable of suffering a lot, actually. And he's very much in the middle of a lot of suffering when the sounds outside of his cell indicate that someone is visiting. Which is why he's quite slow to react to it - though even he couldn't tell you how much of it is because he's somewhat less alert than he's used to and how much it is that he doesn't care to get up quickly no matter who it is.
Though when he sees who it is, he's somewhat surprised. Not extremely so - after all, he's very well aware that Lithuania is in Russia's house, and even that the man is quite compassionate and is more likely than most to want to visit him for that reason. But 'more likely than most' is not the same thing as 'likely' - too many nations are far too afraid of Russia to risk anything, even if they'd been getting along before this war began. So he's at least a little surprised, especially when he can see from Lithuania's manner that he's not here to add to his misery but to be kind.
He shifts in the minimal bed he was given, seating himself on the edge. Which is a somewhat tricky maneuver, as are all movements since he's been chained at the wrists and the ankles to the walls. The chains severely limit his movement, only just giving him the freedom to lay down, stand up, and move around just a little. In fact, he doesn't have enough slack in them to reach the table in his cell, though he wouldn't blame the other nation for not being able to tell that while he was laying down and it was more difficult to see just how much freedom of movement he has.
Staying seating on the edge of the bed, instead of agonizing about that problem he turns his attention to Lithuania for the moment. "You are too kind, Toris," he responds quietly, speaking a bit stronger as he adds, "They did, of course, but I've been healing quickly and vhat remains of it vould be better helped by a meal." With the question brought to his mind, a hand idly goes to his ear so that he can feel how it's healing. It's growing back, but slowly - though it's not his intention to bring it to the attention of the other nation, it's not difficult to see that if you look at it. But the actual wound that had been there when the ear was first removed had healed enough to close up rather quickly, and that's pretty much the case with all his other injuries. It would have been more helpful if Lithuania had brought a blood transfusion, but that's impractical enough of a thing to want that he won't fault him for that.
"How are you doing? You don't look like you're doing too badly," he comments conversationally, though there's enough actual intent in his eyes to indicate that he's not merely making idle conversation - he actually does want to know.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2015 16:36:37 GMT -5
The first thing that came to Lithuania’s attention was that Germany, bound as he was was unable to reach the table where Lithuania set the containers of food. This information was processed with a frown, not because he didn’t know the solutions, but because why had he honestly expected Mr. Germany would have much freedom of movement. Mr. Russia would thought that dangerous and being that he was a prisoner of war, this is only expected treatment. He gave a sigh, but he could work with it. He was used to this sort of thing anyway. So there were two options, free Ludwig or feed him himself. The first one is immediately thrown out—Ivan probably has the only set of keys to unrestrain him and Toris hadn’t come prepared to break his shackles. That left him with option two.
Lithuania removed his jacket, his mind focused on the next objective and not thinking about the erring-on-treasonous actions he was committing. Overthinking would only cause undue stress and he had enough of that worrying about the others in Mr. Russia’s house, and of course worrying about himself, but he often doesn’t even think about himself. He’d much rather help someone else even at the price of his expense.
He let Germany’s surprise at his appearance go without comment. He doesn’t even comment on the fact that Germany can’t reach the food. He instead began opening the containers and placing the proportions on a plate he’d brought with him. “I know what you did, how you ended up here, but I do not blame you for your actions. It is kill or be killed in these conflicts. I am sorry that you too suffered, but you probably knew so.” He wanted to again apologize that Germany was captured, but that was the consequence of his actions—Lithuania was refusing to give much thought on the consequences he will face if caught here. “I-I can’t explain why I am doing this, perhaps it is watching everyone here suffer and knowing how little I can do…but you, I can do something for you. I do not like seeing people suffer. Besides where’s the honor of kicking someone when they are weak?” He gave a hollow, nervous laugh, but then brought the plate and utensils. He drug a stool to sit before Germany.
“I don’t mind doing this if I can,” he told him as poured some water as well and let it sit behind him. “I could feed you every day.” He meant it. He’d do it every day even if that was only raising his chances of getting caught. He smiled at Ludwig and began to gather food on a spoon when Ludwig spoke. He lifted it to the other’s mouth quietly, waiting for him to take it. It was only when he was gathering more food as Ludwig chewed that he finally answered.
His chuckle was weak. “Physically? I am fine, I suppose. Ivan is kind to me unlike you and I do not mind it here. I do not truly mind being with him in his home even if I am afraid of him, but I worry about him more, you know? Mentally…it is one day at a time…I feel useful here, though. Yet everyone is in such pain…so I also feel helpless to really help anyone.” He lifted the spoon back to Germany’s mouth.
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Post by Germany - Ludwig Wilhelm on Dec 21, 2015 0:10:06 GMT -5
There's a part of Germany that is full of pride. It used to be a large, dominating force in his life but after the second World War it was cut down to size. In fact, it was perhaps cut down much further than it needed to be. Still, there's that part of him that wants to object to being spoon fed - state that he can feed himself perfectly well, just so long as it's placed within his reach.
But that part of him is very small now, and the rest of him doesn't mind it at all. Yes, he could feed himself, but it would be a struggle - he's still relatively weak at the moment and the chains are still tight enough to be troublesome. Besides, he can respect Lithuania's sentiments, and his need to do feel like he's doing something to ease the suffering in the world. Does he want to argue and take some of that away from him? No.
Of course, once the food touches his lips, all thoughts of pride disappear completely. He's literally starving - he just doesn't die from it. He doesn't waste away, but he does suffer greatly from it. When food is not available to eat he can be stoic about it - one can get used to feeling hunger. But when it's finally presented to him that becomes much more difficult. He probably does have the inner strength to remain more dignified even in that situation if he wanted to badly enough. But this is Lithuania he's with, not Russia - he doesn't mind it if Lithuania sees that he takes the first spoonful of food into his mouth with as much desperation as if it were air. He does a better job of forcing himself to eat more carefully when the second spoonful comes - it wouldn't do him any good if he choked himself on the food, and chewing is generally a good idea in any case.
It isn't until he's swallowed the second spoonful that he says anything. "You don't mind it," he echoes Lithuania, his tone difficult to read - is that a question or a statement? Skepticism or pity? Or is he just pondering those words? Perhaps it's a little of all of those. "I vant to help all of you - everyone in this house," he comments, leaving it at that for the moment - he wonders what the nation that is so kind as to feed him will make of those words.
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 14:50:11 GMT -5
Lithuania gathers more food on the spoon he holds and holds it out to Ludwig. Is he pondering on Germany’s echoed statement? Perhaps because Toris isn’t sure himself if Germany had mirrored his words as mere repetition, a question, or a way to think about it himself. He sets the spoon in the bowl and picks up the cup of water he had poured. He brings it to Ludwig's lips. “No, I don’t mind it. I met Mr. Russia when I was young. Of course, at that time, I did not refer to him so formally. He was Ivan then…Even now he is Ivan. He’s never not been Ivan to me. So no, I don’t mind it. I don’t completely hate living here, Mr. Germany…M-maybe I should, but I don’t. I…I know not many would agree with me, but it is complicated.” He nodded with assertion and went back to feeding Germany a few bites giving him water, and then repeating.
Germany is not the only country whose heart holds pride. Toris was not always an underling of Russia nor did he have his Baltic “siblings”. Inside Lithuania beats the heart of a wolf who has been domesticated, but whose chaotic nature thrums beneath the surface only waiting. He’d conquered the Middle East and even part of Russia in his younger years, but with age came flaw. He’d been married, he’d been divorced, and then he’d been captured. Toris has watched his people thrive, he has watched them kill, he has watched them die by their own hands. He takes a breath. He really hates this war. He hates the blood of nations spilled for what is nothing more than greed. He is many things, but blind is not one. It doesn’t matter if Ivan claims to want one thing; he is out for another. He wants to conquer like countries before him for nothing more than resources, power, and his own damn pride. This war, its reasons, Ivan uses them for his own purposes. It is no longer about Israel and Iran, not to him. Yet Lithuania will help him.
Maybe he is weak.
He purses his lips at Germany’s offer of help. His first instinct is to shoot him down. How can he help anyone when he’s trapped here, at the mercy of a stranger, at the mercy of an enemy? Lithuania is soft and kind but is irrelevant. He is the Joint Pact. If Russia ordered him to attack Germany, to shoot him, to chop off his other ear, he would. Yet he’s in Germany’s same position. He wants to help all of them too. He stirs the spoon and offers it once more to Germany.
“I expect nothing else of you, Mr. Germany,” he finally says and gives him a smile. He means it. The man moves his heart. For all of what he’d been during World War II, Lithuania sees in him a man of opinion, of grace, and a man who does want to help. “If you hope to do all that first you must regain your strength. So let’s focus on that. A hot meal and a full belly will aide in that immensely.” Gone is the melancholy Lithuania and in his place a man who smiles while his face cracks beneath the surface once more.
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Post by Germany - Ludwig Wilhelm on May 17, 2016 22:06:35 GMT -5
Both food and water are quickly consumed every time that they're brought to his lips, though as desperate as he is for both Germany's mind is not especially occupied with either. Instead the silence that Germany allows to hang in the air for several moments after Lithuania finishes explaining further about how he feels about Russia is a very thoughtful one, interrupted only by the sound of food and water being consumed. Though after pondering it for several moments, he simply says, "I understand - he is your friend."
A part of him is immediately tempted to make the point that Russia isn't exactly a good friend, but he knows better than to state that a nation shouldn't have friendships that they know aren't very good. With around two hundred nations in the world, give or take a handful depending on which ones you 'count', there isn't exactly a very large selection to choose from - especially if you need a friend who is strong enough to actually help you on the world stage. And proximity is also very important. If anything, it's very smart for Lithuania to consider Russia a friend, even if there is a long list of problems with the friendship. Of course, he can't help but feel some pity for Lithuania to be in a situation where this is the case - if only he could offer his own friendship instead and say that this would help Lithuania, but he can't and he knows it. That would only make things worse.
But that certainly does not mean that Germany considers the idea of helping the kind nation to be a lost cause. Far from it, in fact. All it means is that he needs to do something far bigger than an offer of friendship. And noting the way that Lithuania react to his words, he states, "As has always been the case since the end of the last world war, Russia underestimates me. He underestimates everyone who isn't a major world power - I'm not as strong as he is, so he treats me as if I am weak. But I am not - I can leave here as soon as the timing is right." Which will be soon - perhaps as soon as he's recovered more fully from his last conversation with Russia and Belarus. Before this it was more to his advantage to stay - at first because he was injured as he is now, but after he'd healed he could have left but didn't because he knew he would learn much from another chat with Russia. Now the situation has shifted - he's beginning to be concerned that he's been gone for too long, so he'll escape as soon as he's able to and the timing seems good. Right now, though, Lithuania is right - he needs to regain his strength, and the food will help.
And he would like to be able to explain all of that to Lithuania, to reassure him that he's capable of helping, but he doesn't want to put the other nation in the difficult position of giving him information that would make him have to decide whether to keep it to himself or warn Russia. What he's said is enough - even if Lithuania told Russia that he'd said that he was being underestimated, the large nation would probably dismiss it - this is how severely he's being underestimated.
Instead, after a few more bites, his mind shifts onto something that they can perhaps speak a bit more freely about. "I am concerned about Natalya..." he says, his choice of words indicating just how concerned he is. Unlike Lithuania, who tends to address nations by the name of their nation instead of their personal name out of a sense of politeness and respect, Germany tends to speak and even think about nations - including himself - that way in order to maintain a certain distance. He's very careful about allowing anyone to be close. So for Germany to express his concerns about Natalya instead of Belarus means that he is very concerned.
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do not forget me
About thirty years ago, Israel's boss was assasinated. By who, well, no one knows, but Israel immediately blamed Iran. Of course, that alone wouldn't have started World War III, even though Israel and Iran's various allies declared war in quick succession.
Nah, the nuclear bomb in the middle of Jerusalem probably did it.
Now? Now the rest is history. The world's been at war for thirty years, thirty years of bloodshed and pain. No one else has reached for the nuclear option quite yet, but no one's happy. So if we all die- well, do not forget me, okay?
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